For Men » Pregnancy » Responding to Unexpected Pregnancy

Responding to an Unexpected Pregnancy

Finding out that you may be responsible for an "unexpected" pregnancy can be quiet a shock. Initially, you may find yourself thinking or asking yourself questions like:

"How did this happen?"
"Am I really the father?"
"Is she absolutely sure?"
"What are we going to do?"

You may also experience the following feelings:

Shock — you are so unprepared for the news of the pregnancy that you cannot believe that it is happening.
Denial — you wonder if the information is true. Perhaps the pregnancy test is inaccurate. Maybe you are not the father.
Fear — about how the pregnancy is going to affect you and your future, and what it might do to your relationship with your girlfriend. You may also fear the responsibility of being a father or providing for a child.
Guilt — that you were responsible for causing the pregnancy, especially if you were not using protection.
Left out — you might feel that your girlfriend is leaving you out of the decision making process, or not sharing her feelings about what is going on.
Powerlessness — all of a sudden decisions are being made without your knowledge or consent.
Relief — that your girlfriend is taking on all the responsibility for the decision.
Happy — after the initial shock wears off to find out that you are going to be a father.

Whatever you may be initially thinking or feeling, know that you are not alone. Many men have experienced a "surprise" or "unexpected" pregnancy. Below are suggested steps to take:

Confirm the pregnancy. The first thing you need to do is find out if your girlfriend is really pregnant. The Shady Grove Pregnancy Center provides a free lab quality, one-step, highly sensitive urine pregnancy test which will provide a positive or negative result with a 99% accuracy rate.
Educate yourself on the options. There are only three: parenting, abortion, and adoption. Make sure you have all the information before making a final decision.
Show that you care. Offer your support. If possible, be involved in the decisions surrounding your girlfriend's pregnancy.
Talk to someone. It may help for you as a couple, or separately, to find a third person to speak to. Seek out counseling from a professional health care provider, a pregnancy counselor, a therapist, a doctor, or a clergyperson.

The Shady Grove Pregnancy Center can provide a trained pregnancy counselor to help you evaluate your situation, explore feelings and examine options. See our location and times the center is open.
Know your rights. Gather the facts and know your rights before responding to the situation.
Take a paternity test. If you are in doubt about being the father then take the steps to have paternity testing. For more information on DNA Parentage Testing call 1-800-DNA-Center.